Nature

Rhino: Dude, I'm telling you. They abducted me, flew me far, far away, and performed a variety of strange tests on me in my sleep in their large, metallic bases. They've planted a small device in my horn- I think it's to track me. They could be coming back for us at any minute! Run! They're coming! They're Coming!


Other Rhinos: Schitzo...




I gotta say though- I'm not sure how I feel about all of the efforts in existance to help 'save' endangered species. Are we fighting a futile fight? And yes we mean well in helping the species as a whole, but think about the individual animals. How would you like being abducted and relocated into a new home halfway around the continent? Away from your family and friend Rhinos? No wonder some animals don't breed well in captivity. Maybe they're just depressed and don't want to subject their kids to it.


Fun Fact: a large group of Rhinos is referred to as a "crash"

Fun Fact: Almost a month off of the internet and I come back blogging about Rhinos. Wow.

< /Lull >

So I've been playing Neverwinter Nights basically nonstop after work for the past week (comparison to WoW coming at some point...maybe) when once again a technical nuisance from the gods forced me to quit and reinvest my liesure time back in the real world. (though I'm also looking forward to getting more than six hours of sleep tonight, damn video games.)

Anyway, I was reading through Gavrich's new blog/tumblr/facebook hybrid...thing and figured I should probably throw a bone to all 2.5 readers I probably have left.

So I'm going to talk about.... Dudes. Yes that's always a good one. Dudes.


The truth is, everything your mother told you about men is a lie. Namely this phrase:

"Men are sleazeballs and a guy will say absolutley anything just to get in your pants"

See, our mothers came of age in the 1970s. I wasn't alive back then, and for all I know maybe nothing's changed at all, but here is my analysis: In history class, we're taught that while the 70's 'looked' very much like the 60's, they lacked the genuine desire for cultural change and world peace. In other words, people weren't getting high to "expand their conciousness," they were just doing it for shits and giggles. By this time, I think, dudes had forsaken the "Free Love" ideals of the Sixties, but were by no means beyond taking advantage of the results of the movement to score with anyone they wanted to sleep with. The development of the pill had finally given women some control over contraception use, making it even easier and more satisfying for everyone to sleep around (even condom free...until they discovered HIV). And let's face it, every popculture rendition of the decade today basically portrays it as a giant, coke-induced orgy. While one would think that this would lead to sleazyness on both sides of genome (and in many ways it did), older overarching ideas were still strongly influential. Women could work in almost whatever field they wanted, but kicking through the glass ceiling of promotions and responsibility was another question all together. They were still freshly escaping life as merely their husband's wives, and in many ways lacked the simple respect as equals that they are given today. I'm not saying that every man who dated during the 1970s was a douchebag- but if he wanted to be, he could certainly get away with it.

Enter nowadays- Obviously people have lied to get laid. You've surely read the TFLN "I haven't gotten laid so easily since I told a girl I had cancer" and in one memorable episode of Sex and the City, Miranda (a top notch lawyer) claims to be a stewardess. I'm not going to deny that there are a fair share of sleazeballs out there, But two major things have changed. For starters, we have. While girls of the 70s were raised in the shiny suburbs of the 50s to expect perfect loving marriages and Norman Rockwell-esque turkey dinners (after they got their degree, of course), we've been raised with rape-reports almost nightly on the news (probably not PC enough for the fifties crowd?) and explicitly and frequently told to never to be too trusting in the opposite sex. Where our mothers were dissapointed, perhaps, we're not all that surprised. Over twenty or so years of this has actually (and somewhat ironically) created a stigma around Men. Upon hearing of a straight guy majoring in SWAG, my initial thought was "He is so just doing that to get laid." A friend of mine once had a guy friend who hit on her alot when he was drunk. She thought he was just drunkenly after sex and made nothing of it (like any girl nowadays would). One day he got so frustrated with her lack of serious response that he got angry, and months later she learned he was actually really into her. Obviously Beer Goggles exist, and this story is maybe more the exception than the rule, but it's undeniable that guys today do have to go just that much farther to literally 'prove' that they are genuine about something or someone, and don't just have base ulterior motives. The first time a guy ever said he had strong feelings for me, I basically said something along the lines of "No, you're probably just confusing this with my DDD breasts." (maybe a little harsh, but hey, I was 14.) Infact, with this stigma so prominent in society, it's not unusual for guys to complain about it, and even go the extra mile to be nice and considerate just to prove it wrong. (Though not to be confused with "Playing the sensitive card.")

And then there's the second factor- women as stronger peers. Now more than ever, men and women form solid and meaningful platonic friendships in coed groups. While single sex friend groups make it easier to objectify, and be generally be more reckless in, encounters with the opposite sex, a coed friend group sets a standard of decency that applies equally to everyone. Girls might not want their guy friends and coworkers to think they're a slut, and guys don't want their female friends and coworkers to think they're too much of a sleaze. Obviously many people of either gender will still be friends with someone regardless of how awefully they treat their 'conquests,' but the influence can still be pretty strong and does have an effect on society as a whole.

and here's another myth:

"As a woman, you will automatically develop strong feelings for the first person you have sex with."

The problem with that logic is it's actually circular. True, in women's brains sex is said to release large amounts of 'bonding' hormones, but is it enough to literally act as a love potion for any guy lucky (?) enough to hit home first? And is it to the same degree for all women? I suppose in my case it was...for a whole 24 hours. Yup, for 24 hours I thought it'd be pretty neato if we actually got to know each other. That's it.

This is how I think the myth started. For most people, the first person you have sex with is someone cared about to begin with, or at least is better than the average hook up. After all, they've "merited" your virginity, so clearly could not have been all that aweful to begin with. If you have sex with the first person you fall in love with, then it's probably the loss of "love virginity" (for lack of a better word) that keeps you attached, not the physical act. And as for the random hook-up method of deflowering (inwhich case maybe they weren't too special to begin with) I don't think that ever lead to one person overnight having serious feelings for another. If the former virgin is really ecstatic about a second encounter, then chances are they just want to have sex again...



And while I'm apparently on a fucking roll, let's analyze something else about people that's always confused me.

"The One Time Deal."

I was watching the most recent episode of The Guild the other day, where The-Douchebag-Antagonist-Played-By-Will-Wheaton (of course) tells Codex that the sex was great, but he only does one time deals. To me, an assertive "it was good but I'd prefer it not happen again" after a fling with someone you have nothing to lose with has always been a masked insult. Sex is good. Sex with other, real people is sometimes dissapointing, but often even better. If the sex was genuinely good, and if since said sex you've learned nothing about them to make them less appealing, and if the relationship is not exclusive, why not? Why so surely and immidiatley set on never repeating the incident no matter what life throws at you? There is no reason. Actually there are a few exceptions to this,* but outside of those I simply do not understand turning down a good thing so long as it continues to be good. The only possible conclusion is that you really just were kinda bad...

*The Exceptions:

1. Guilt. 'It was great but illicit and I feel really bad about cheating and want to put in a genuine effort not to"

2. Someone else. 'it was really enjoyable, but there is someone else who I'm banging who's even better, so they win the booty call award'. This doesn't even fully merit a permanent defacto rejection though, if you ask me, as it could easily become 'I'll put you on the backburner if this falls through.' A variant on this is also Stud. As in 'so many people clamour for my body that I literally have a new awesome person every time I want to fuck.' But I honestly don't think anyone outside of Hollywood gets that much sex. And if they do...well fuck you. And you should probably get tested.

3. Beer Goggles. 'You were really hot after that 8th tequila shot but this morning I'm just not feeling it' Then again, this isn't even a logically permanent rejection either, because you'll probably be up for it next time you have another eight tequila shots.

4. Vacation sex




So much for getting more than six hours of sleep...