The Handy Men's Guide to Sex and the City

So it seems that in my (mostly failed) efforts to live out a slightly less dorky existance, I've accidentally managed to revert back into uber-girly mode. Note to self: marathoning Sex and the City while internet shoe shopping is an excellent (though also rather dangerous) combination. Clearly, I'm not a very impressionable person. No, not at all.

Anyway, It has just occured to me that my male readership probably has heard a great deal about this TV show that seems to speak to almost all women on some level, but likely does not know very much about it. This is unfortunate. You see, it is commonly accepted that many women who watch the show strongly self-identify with one of the four characters, and the second anyone starts talking about the show they will likely mention which one it is in under ten minutes. Some even go as far as to buy glitzy "I'm a [so and so]" T-shirts. Using this information, it could then be very easy for men to identify traits in a woman that might not come out for another several months of dating. So here I present to you, The Handy Men's Guide to Sex and the City:

(You might now be wondering "But why would she betray her gender like this?!" Well, I felt the need to help humanity in a small way, and mainly I just had to find a way to somehow lower the estrogen level in here)

Disclaimer: People can self-identify with other people for a variety of different reasons and nothing is set in stone. Just because she may have a few traits of her favorite character, doesn't mean she has all of them.


Girl Says "I'm such a Carrie"
Translation: Carrie is the central character that brings all of the other girls together. She is the most fun-loving, youthful, real, and very charismatic. She is a stereotypical girly-girl who loves spend a little too much money on designer outfits, and lots of time thinking about and analyzing relationships (ergo, her column). She is rarley forward, and men just seem to frequently approach her. While she has had her fair share of flings and one night stands, Carrie is ultimatley "looking for love" and is the most upfront about talking geniunely about her feelings with her partners than any other girl on the show. While always caring and openminded, the downside to Carrie (in my opinion) is her strong tendency to obsess and overreact.

Girl Says "I'm such a Miranda"
Translation: Miranda is a hardworking, intelligent, sucessful lawyer in a top firm and very proud of it. She enjoys her independance and refuses to give anyone enough power to take it away. Very cynical about all men (even the nice ones, who might be "too nice," and ergo assholes) she dates but rarely expects much, and is not above a one-night-stand just to get laid. She often backs up Samantha when going against Charlotte. While Miranda comes off as non-chalant and almost cold to many of her partners, a certain amount of probing reveals this is only a sturdy wall around a softer interior. Despite a strong and mature exterior, she can be prone to the occassional bout of immaturity; for example, seeing an ex on the street with a new woman and trying to hide. She is the least attractive and seems to get laid/date the least often of any of the four. (Though that's still by no means anything to be ashamed of given the company.)

Girl Says "I'm such a Charlotte"
Translation: Charlotte is the most preppy and traditional of all the characters, with a very wealthy upbringing. While she has had a few passionate, brief encounters, she is the least sexually-open minded and ultimatley looking for the perfect white wedding and large family. She is a firm beliver in "the Rules." She never makes the first move, and often witholds sex until the third date, or even later if she really wants a guy to like her. She is smart, but is not above playing this down so as not to intimidate a possible date. Though Charlotte can be excessively demanding of perfection in any of her relationships, she is the most optimisitc and romantic of any of the four. She is the only character to express a strong belief in the power of love, soulmates, love at first sight, etc.

Girl Says "I'm Such a Samantha"
Translation: Samantha is the most sexually open-minded and promiscuous of all the characters. She rarely enters in relationships, dislikes dealing with "messy" feelings, and is more than happy to simply use men to get whatever she wants (mainly lots and lots of sex). She is very cynical, not even believing in monogamy and only once or twice asking this of a partner. While given the opportunity to be in a longterm relationship, she ultimatley turns it down at the end of the series, as she is just not happy in one. While many might be quick to judge Samantha as a whore, her genuine independence, sucessful career, very high self-esteem, and blunt honesty and wit make her a very respectable character. While men are disposable to her, her friends aren't, and she has gone out on a limb to do right by them and show that she cares. In my opinion, there are only two types of women who will openly self-identify as Samantha: those rare few who are actually that awesome, and girls that are just incredibly easy/horny and looking to flaunt it.

Girl Says "Aww, I love Aiden"
Translation: Aiden was Carrie's second most-serious relationship after Mr. Big. He is truly devoted to Carrie and, after years of "the dating game," she is easily thrown off by how honest, attentive, and available to her he is. He makes his own furniture for a living and has a bit of rustic, country charm in addition to a silly sense of humour. He is a romantic, waiting an unusually long number of dates to have sex with Carrie so that it can "mean something" when they do. He moves in with Carrie, and ultimately asks her to marry him though is turned down once Carrie realizes she simply doesn't feel the same way. Long story short, if nice guys finish last, Aiden is your typical nice guy.

Girl Says "Aww, I love Steve"
Translation: Steve is Miranda's on-and-off partner who ultimatley becomes a good friend, father to her child, and then her husband. Steve is "just a bar tender" whose puppy-dog demeanor and simple, almost childish, ways compliment Miranda's seriousness and professionalism. When they first have sex, Miranda makes it clear that it was just a one night stand, but Steve believes that they have "something special" and pursues the relationship despite Miranda's initial bitchy-ness. Most importantly, Steve makes it clear over time that he really cares for Miranda, and puts up with her work-induced grouchiness and subtle attempts at pushing him away emotionally. He also tends to be more emtional than she is. While assembling the crib for their child, Steve starts to tear up with sentiment while Miranda bluntly says "Don't cry, Steve." Their relationship is very laidback and honest.

Girl Says "Aww, I love Mr. Big"
Translation: Mr. Big is a sucessful, wealthy businessman with classic style and suave who is Carrie's major love-interest and generally accepted to be out of her league. While he turns down Samantha's offer at a one night stand and claims to have never had "sex without feeling" as she does, he is never quite as emotionally available to Carrie as she wishes he was until the very end. While he is always very clear about how involved in a relationship he'd like to be, and demonstrates that he does care for Carrie on some level, she often feels she is being pushed away and breaks up with him when she feels she is more involved than he is. While Carrie claims he is "commitementphobic" they ultimately end up together. (Though not without a trail of wreckage that involves breaking up Mr. Big's marriage to a 26 year-old and Carrie's relationship with Aiden) Arguably, Mr. Big is the typical douchebag who you wish would change...and actually does.

Girl Says "Smith Jared is so hot!"
Translation: Don't be intimidated. It's simply a fact. Basically he's Samantha's sexy, good-natured, twenty-something model/actor boyfriend who stays with her the longest. She realizes how much he really cares after she dumps him to get back together with a former fling at a hotel party and he still waits for her at the bottom of the elevator shaft just to "make sure she got home OK."

Girl Says "Aww, I love Harry"
Translation: Harry is initially the least atttractive of any of the suitors. He is bald, sweats profusely, talks with food in his mouth, and has lots of back hair. However, the second he lays eyes on charlotte (who picks him as her divorce lawyer because his business partner was so attractive that she just couldn't be aggressive enough infront of him to win the case) he decides he has to have her. He comes onto her strongly, and she agrees on the condition that they only have sex and nothing more. She is surprised to have the best sex of her life, and slowly agrees to let him into her life in more significant ways, getting to know the great personality within. But this is not without a serious amount of initial critiquing whenever they go out in public, which he only puts up with out of pure adoration for her. In the end, Charlotte picks a fight that breaks them up, and then after a few weeks she realises the horrible mistake she's made and begs for him back. He then feels the same and marries her.

Girl Says "Aww, I love Skipper"
Translation: Though only briefly in the series, Skipper is a young, naive, romantic who beleives that "love conquors all." He is the most genuine and dorky of any male in the series, working as a website creator and snacking on Captain Crunch. He perpetually dates more assertive, career oriented women (including temporarily, Miranda) who dump him because they "just need some time alone" or "want to focus on their career right now."


Girl Says "Aww, I love Stanford"
Translation: Do not fear. Stanford is the stylish, token gay friend.


Obviously I have only had the time/effort to adress the major characters in the show, though others may pop-up. If you have any questions on other characters that pop-up in your Woman's discussion of the series, do not hesitate to contact me. I am truly an expert.

Oh, and just for those who haven't seen it yet:







One month. Get Ready.