BFLN

Similarly, having read some of Gavrich's short stories, I couldn't help but find myself overwhelmed with even more nostalgia. I know almost everyone seems to think that their life is interesting enough to write a book about by the time they hit 60, and maybe I'm falling prey to the same egoism, but I honestly think it's a story worth telling.

And hopefully it's lack of suckage will convince you as well.

Yes, "it" might just happen. "It" is a series of installments that will, over time, fully chronicle life "back in the day." No pseudonyms. No sugarcoating. Nothing but the straight and improbable truth (or at least as best I can present it from the perspective of people who aren't me). I have a theory that by attending a prep-school you are automatically initiated into a life-long social cult. We might as well take a look at how that all began.

Now when I say 'over time' I really mean well over the course of the next 2-3 years at least. I'm hoping that as time goes on, perspective will be gained, and things will become less important and more or less "declassified" enough for people to not get upset at me for writing about them publically. Then again, some improvisation is inevitable since I'm not (but just a hair short of!) omniscent, so it might not always be obvious which specific details are real and which aren't. If that still isn't comforting enough for you, then please inform me if there's anything specific that you'd like me to be especially tasteful about.

But until this lofty feat is realized (if it ever is, which let's face it, is pretty unlikely) I leave you with my first leg of hillarious historical research. Back from the time when "we used to comment religiously," (and then some) I give you, the very best, BFLN-worthy comments:

Juicy: "Eliza and I might just have to drag you to our sexathon until your balls fall of from the pure estrogen overload"

JV: "anyone want to make this longer? maybe factor in some SATC?"


JV: "we can always just sleep outside, unless it rains, which shouldnt be a prob b/c Juicy can control the universe with her mind."


JV: "bftsob: blogging for the sake of bitching"
Juicy: "blogging for the sake of YOUR MOM"
Gavrich: "Actually, that would be classified as 'bftsoYM"


OSK: "Well, it's hard not to gossip when I'm being such a player this year:). Oh, and of
course the constant battle between Dr. K and I for the much coveted mojo is always fascinating."

Juicy: "umm disco=god (even if that does mean i am the child of a decade long crack induced orgy in studio54) "


Dr. K: "i agree with jvert here. hungry guys are very attracted to girls with good snacks. or other guys for that matter, if the snacks are good enough. "


Gavrich: "WOOOOO---Big Brother is watching EVERYTHING!!! "


JV: "and given your post, i imagine you want your secret santa to give you ass, right?"


Gavrich: "I daresay that energy drinks would be better at a pity party than alcohol. High-octane pity is much more satisfying than inebriated pity, I'd imagine. "
Juicy: "mmm, but possibly far more dangerous.... "


OSK: "Thanks for the shout-out, and no there's not hope, but what do I care? I'm fucking Batman!*

*No, not procreating "


Gavrich: "Well my shout-out was acceptable. It was also probably the first formal shout-out I've ever received, so that's probably why. "


Gavrich: "Seems like someone needs to listen to 'Barney's Greatest Hits."


Gavrich: "I believe that we American men are spoiled because the American women have no problem putting the adverb form of 'fantastic' in front of the word 'whorish."


Gavrich: "I'm puzzled by the phrase 'penis candy."


Gavrich: "My school was founded on sound values. Yours was probably founded during a morphine-high"


Dr. K: "umm... what IS that?? "
Juicy: "it's your mom."


JV: "You could always use your foolish youth-ness to get a tatoo so you can remember what it's like to be young and foolish for the rest of your life. "


Gavrich: "Why the epic feats of procrastination? "
Juicy: "I told you: canoes, full on nudity, school-sponsored mud wrestling, the Red Sox, and a spontaneous conversation that lasted over 2 hours "


Dr. K: "Give science a few more decades and we'll be able to grow babies in test tubes. Then, women: who needs you? "


JV: "I'm famous for providing mythic relics to people and their hair."
Juicy: "hey, it's better than nothing... "


Gavrich: "Juicy, I'm beginning to think that your college doesn't actually exist. It's looking more and more like some ridiculous, rebellious liberal construct; a figment of imagination. And I've even been 'there' (I feel the need to use that term loosely). "


JV: "::grumbles:: I'm still waiting for that crack... "


JV: "I think we should call kids 'last generation's garbage' until they're old enough that, if we talk about how they're the future, I don't want to puke. "


And saving the very best for last...

Gavrich: [on anal sex] "Well...if cleanliness and safety were assured, and the hypothetical she were interested, it might be an experiment worth conducting. "